Real
by skyisthelimit
Summary: Sometimes, the separation is too much. Sometimes, it just can't be overcome. Sometimes, what happens while you're apart is enough to keep you from ever coming back together. This isn't one of those times. SK Oneshot


**A/N:** Back when I originally wrote this, I had a lot of help from **Creature of Shadow** , who provided me with many insights as a nurse, army wife, mother, and friend :) I still give many, many thanks to her.

This fic also had several song inspirations that I literally played on loop while writing this. Those are: "For the First Time" by The Script, "Storm" by Lifehouse, "When You're Gone" by Avril Lavigne, and "Breathe again" by Sara Bareilles.

 **Prompt:** Devil

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own Inuyasha or its characters

* * *

A dark-haired woman leaned against an old, gnarled tree, her slender silhouette framed by the dimming twilight. A book laid closed and forgotten in her lap. The night chill slowly descended on her bare arms, uselessly pricking at her nerves endings. Minutes ticked by, and slowly the light lavender of dusk was consumed by the dark indigo of night.

She tilted her head back against the twisted bark, eyes closed, gently sinking into the soft, cool breeze that fluttered against her cheek. _Like a caress_.

The pain in her chest flared to an unbearable weight, forcing Kagome snap her eyes open and gasp. Clenching her eyes and taking deep breaths, she tried to relax as much as she could, waiting out the pain and her pounding heart. _In. Out. In. Out._ Fighting through each breath, she breathed out one last time as her heart beat finally returned to normal and her muscles loosened.

Resting her right hand against her left breast, she absently kneaded the soft flesh with her thumb as she gazed blankly into the darkness.

"Heartbreak must be painful," she observed, cuddled into his side as they watched the movie. It was her week to pick, and to his unsurprised displeasure, she chose a romance.

" _The heart is mostly muscle," he told her, "It cannot break."_

 _She twisted her lips and muttered, "Mr. Literal." She rubbed chiseled chest absently. "Muscles can ache, though."_

" _Hn."_

" _Then heartache must be painful," she decided._

" _Perhaps."_

"… _Aren't you going to say some sappy line about how you promise to protect my heart?"_

" _Watch the movie, Kagome," he instructed. However, the arm around her tightened, curling her closer to his chest. She smiled, heart fluttering happily under her ribs._

The older Kagome smiled wryly at the memory, feeling her heart's all-important beat under her fingers. He never did make promises he couldn't keep.

A new ghostly sensation within her body caused her sarcastic smile to soften. Tilting her head back up again, she gazed at the bright stars. _I wonder if he's seeing the same stars?_ She closed her eyes again to relish the seductive darkness so like him, her unoccupied left hand moving up to rest protectively on her stomach.

* * *

Sesshomaru gazed at the night sky, discouragingly starless from the dank, rolling clouds. The exotic forest around him turned into an unknown and dangerous jungle, taunting him with suspicious sounds covered by the black of night. The hot muggy air was suffocating, as if he was being steamed like some broiled fish.

 _Haha, did you just compare yourself to fish?_

It was her voice. Her teasing, relentless, bordering obnoxious voice…it was like bells.

Hot. It was still too hot. Far too hot for nighttime. Oppressing. He couldn't breathe, his chest was too heavy. Too heavy.

Jerking up to his feet, he forced his sluggish body to move to the lake near their encampment. Tugging off his boots and socks, he plunged his feet into the water and sighed at the coolness. He hung his head back, eyes futilely searching for the moon.

" _If you're not careful, people will think you're a cold-hearted bastard," she lectured him after he hung up on an annoying business associate with a curt goodbye._

 _He raised a brow. "If I recall correctly, that's exactly what you told me I am on our first meeting."_

 _She shrugged, getting closer to loosen his tie and undo a couple of buttons at the top of his dress shirt. "By some miracle, I know better now," she rested her hands on his chest, "Underneath your cold bastard routine is someone who acutely feels everything around him."_

" _Are you calling me sensitive?" he scoffed._

" _I'm calling your BS," she clarified, but smiled, "You're aware of_ everything, _Sesshomaru. Down to the last detail. So you_ feel _," she rubbed her palms over him gently, "more than most._ _But, I guess if it means you only let loose around me, it's ok."_

" _Hn." He rested his hands on her waist._

 _She grinned. "But you know, all a person has to do is look at your eyes to figure out there's something more." She cupped his cheek, rubbing the corner of his eye with a thumb. "Molten gold, heated…" he closed his eyes against her touch, "…and very pretty." She giggled as he snapped his eyes open and growled._

 _He crouched down and hefted her over his shoulder. She squealed. "Wah! Let go of me pretty boy!" she cried out as he carried her to their bedroom to do not so pretty things._

She always did have an irritating talent for being right about others. Here, among all the destruction, chaos, innocent blood…he couldn't help but be aware of every flesh he marred with his bullets, every burning agony his men felt. He didn't let it disturb him…but he couldn't ignore it nonetheless.

"Master Sergeant Taisho? We need you inside."

He sighed and stepped out of the soothing waters, moving to follow the young foot soldier. He didn't put back on his footwear; instead, he let his feet squash the dirty ground underneath him.

* * *

Kagome gazed softly at the untouched and immaculate section of the walk-in closet, a direct contrast to her cluttered, unorganized half. Fingering a pressed sleeve lightly, she sighed wistfully before turning to attempt to dig out something appropriate for work.

Without paying attention, she pulled out a deep blue blouse, and paused.

" _Are those contacts?"_

 _She widened her eyes in surprise at her new boss. "Excuse me?"_

" _You shouldn't wear contacts when you don't need them," he instructed, not deigning to repeat himself, "Especially if you simply have an inane desire change your eye color."_

 _She stared at her ridiculously handsome employer in silence, completely shocked._

" _I assure you, you'll catch the attention of the same number of men with fake blue eyes as you will with real brown eyes," he scorned, scoffing._

 _She finally snapped back to reality. "_ Excuse me!? _These happen to be my natural eyes, thank you very much!" she fumed, glaring into amber eyes. "And what about you? Aren't those contacts? And for pete's sake for how long did you bleach your hair to make it white? What, do you aspire to be an old man by the time you're 30?"_

 _His own eyes narrowed, "These are my natural features, woman."_

" _Hmph, then you of all people should know what it's like to be a Japanese with unusual features," she growled, "Dumb, hypocritical, cold-hearted bastard." She turned on her heel and stomped off._

 _It wouldn't be until many months later, while they cuddled in bed, that Sesshomaru would admit that he had resented the fact that her eyes, highlighted by the color of her blouse, had managed to catch his usually elusive attention. She had laughed at him and proceeded to wear the same exact blouse the next day…and then call in sick for work from bed. Sesshomaru didn't even call._

Kagome gave a bittersweet smile at the memories. Pressing the blouse to her chest, she sighed, and then moved to stand up and dress.

The moment she was on her feet, however, the room started spinning. Stumbling, she quickly grasped a shelf and leaned heavily onto it, holding her other hand to her mouth. The room wasn't just spinning now, it was tilting this way and that and almost felt connected to her stomach. There was an odd pressure yet lightness in her head, and she fought to keep breathing. Slowly, keeping her neck as still as possible, she took steady deep breaths, filling her lungs to its greatest capacity. The room gradually teetered into proper place, and her head soon felt normal again.

Giving up on her slow breath routine, she sighed and panted, still leaning on the shelf. Rubbing her stomach lightly, she carefully left the shelf and made her way to the bedroom, grabbing a pill case off the night stand. Kagome chased two pills down with some water she kept in the room, and sat heavily on the bed. She had to remember to keep her movements slow and smooth. But it was difficult enough trying not to trip every ten feet – she was naturally a clumsy person.

Huffing, she stood determinedly and dressed in the blue blouse and black slacks. Just as she was about to leave, though, she stopped to look at the dark mahogany dresser. Making a decision, she opened a drawer and pulled out a shimmering silver tie. Taking a moment to press her lips to it, she tied it around her neck as she walked out the door.

* * *

"I _never_ thought I'd say this, but I'm dyin' for a laundry machine right about now," a young, silver haired soldier declared, scrunching his nose at the grimy uniform he was about to put on.

Sesshomaru raised a brow at hm. "You are not my half-brother," he said flatly.

"Oh shut up," Inuyasha sneered, "Just 'cause I'm not picky over washing my underwear every day doesn't mean I like my clothes like _this_ ," he shook the mud caked combat wear.

"Hn, I would never have been able to tell."

The younger Taisho gave his brother the finger. "Come on, I know you've been dreaming bout one of those prissy Armani suits you have back home."

" _You're more fashion-aware than I am, and I'm a_ girl _," Kagome, ready to go, laughed as he pondered carefully about which suit he would select today._

" _Hn. Business is about presentation too, woman. Surely my CMO at least realizes that," he told her._

" _You mean you hope so. Otherwise, it would mean you hired an incompetent chief marketing officer," she teased._

" _If I recall correctly, it was not I who hired you."_

" _Yeah, but apparently I did my job well enough to be asked out by Mr. CEO himself," her eyes twinkled. He smirked as she approached him, taking the tie from his hands and draping it around his neck. She tugged it, using it to pull him down far enough to give him a chaste, welcome kiss._

 _Letting the cloth slip through her fingers, she proceeded to tie it. "Why do you always wear the same tie on Mondays?" she asked curiously, fingering the silver tie when she was done._

" _Respect."_

" _Huh?"_

 _He brushed her hair over her shoulder. "My father gave me this tie when I first started at the company," he said as his only explanation, knowing Kagome would understand._

 _She did. "Your father earned your respect the first day you wore this tie," she realized correctly, having heard about his first day at the company before._

" _Hn."_

 _She smiled and kissed his cheek in approval._

 _He watched her carefully, wondering if she'd realized the other reason._

 _Kagome fingered the tie softly, and kissed it as well._

 _She realized._

" _Let's go," she prompted, "We've got a ten o'clock with Saimyosho Records." She turned and headed for the door. He fiddled with his tie one more time before following, his thoughts back to the Monday he first met her._

"Not a suit," Sesshomaru finally replied, causing Inuyasha to look at him blankly before dismissing his strange response with a shrug. When they were done dressing, they headed over to the meal tent.

"Master Sergeant Taisho! I mean, Staff Sergeant Taisho! I mean, both of you, sirs!" a soldier called, striding quickly toward them.

"You know, I don't think Japan did their tongues a favor by putting us in the same army sector," Inuyasha muttered. Louder, he called, "Private! I've told all ya grunts to call us by 'Sergeant' then our first names! Waste less energy!"

"Er right, sorry St-" the young soldier stopped at Inuyasha's glare, "I mean, sorry, Sergeant Inuyasha."

"Better. Now what is it? I'm starving here!"

The private held out a letter to each of them. "Mail's here."

"Thanks," Inuyasha snatched the letter, eager when he saw his fiancé's handwriting. "Did I mention how much it sucks we don't have cell reception or internet down here? My hand's crampin' from these stupid letters."

"And your handwriting is suffering the consequences," Sesshomaru informed him, thinking of the reports he had to spend hours deciphering. Taking and opening his own letter, he felt himself relax slightly as he read Kagome's familiar and cheerful writing. He could practically see her next to him, ranting about the neighbor's 3am motorcycle runs, babbling about insignificant daily happenings, updating him about the company's businesses…

His face drained as he reached the bottom of the letter, and he stood absolutely still, staring at the same paragraph in disbelief.

Eventually, after finishing his own letter, Inuyasha noticed his brother's strange behavior. "Uh, Sesshomaru? What's up with you?"

He didn't answer.

Frowning, the younger sergeant pulled Sesshomaru's letter out of stiff fingers. Skimming it himself, his eyes grew wide at the bottom. "Dude! Is she serious?" he exclaimed, before breaking out into a huge grin. "Hey twerps!" he called to the mess, "I'm gonna be an uncle!"

Laughing Inuyasha clapped his brother on the shoulder. "Congrats, bastard! Don't worry, I'll make sure the kid's nothing like its stick-in-the-mud pops."

Sesshomaru didn't respond, but Inuyasha chalked it up to shock. Still grinning, he left him to gather his wits, stepping forward to fend off the enthusiasm from the rest of the division.

The actual father-to-be, however, did not hear any of the congratulations. In fact, he didn't want to hear them. This was not the occasion for it. Kagome was _pregnant._ With his child. A burden she was carrying alone.

While he was _here_ , risking his life, no, his child's father's life, every damn _day_.

Sesshomaru was not a religious man. Whether or not god existed, Sesshomaru believed in his own power, and his power alone. He was not the type to depend on some unseen force to do things for him.

However, in that moment, he appealed to every power inside and outside of him, pleading to be allowed to return home in enough pieces to be a father.

* * *

Her secretary knocked on the open door, bowing slightly. "Your ten o'clock is here, Mrs. Taisho."

Kagome set her pen down. "Send him in."

The young girl nodded and stepped aside, letting a short, aged man through. He was frowning, and had his chin set stubbornly.

"Hello, Satomura-san. A pleasure to meet you."

"I was under the impression that Taisho Corp's CEO was a male," was his greeting.

Her eyebrow twitched, but she kept her smile. "It is. My husband, however, is not available as this time. I am acting CEO in his absence."

"I'd like to speak to Taisho-san then," the businessman asserted stubbornly.

"As I said, my husband is unavailable. He was called back to the service and will not be returning for some time," Kagome said as patiently as she could.

"My business with this company must be handled with expertise," he scowled.

Kagome sighed. "I assure you, Satomura-san, I am just as experienced as my husband when it comes to this company. I was hired shortly after its founding."

"And how long had you been seeing him before that?" Satomura sneered.

Kagome's face darkened. "That is inappropriate, Satomura, and none of your concern." She stood. "I am afraid that Taisho Corp will not be accepting any business relations, then. We do not stand for rudeness, and you'll forgive me for informing you that your company is not so valuable to make us reconsider that policy. Mai-san will show you the door." She nodded to the secretary.

"Very well," Satomura scoffed.

She regarded him knowingly. "Do not bother coming back after my husband has returned, Satomura-san. He and I are partners, and he respects every decision I make. And even if he were here, I would still have enough authority to reject relations with your company."

"Of course you would _Mrs._ Taisho," he sneered again.

She leveled him a cold glare that rivaled her absent husbands. "The door, Satomura-san. And if I were you, I would be more concerned about your company's failing budget, than about making another appointment with us a half year. Your strategies for next month leave a lot to be desired, and unless you consider interest rate trends from the last decade, rather than the last year, you will be bankrupt by next month."

With that, she sat back down and went back to her documents, not sparing him another glance as Mitsuki led his shocked from her office.

A couple hours later, Mitsuki let a tall, dark-haired woman in without introduction. Kagome smiled at the newcomer.

"Sango-chan!"

Sango grinned. "Let's have lunch!" she pushed, holding up two very large bentos.

Kagome laughed and led her to a little table in the office. They began to eat in comfortable silence, before Sango finally spoke.

"Miroku told me you just turned Sato, Inc. from your door."

Kagome frowned. "He was being rude and inappropriate. Neither Sesshomaru and I put up with that."

Sango laughed. "I guess, though you know I think you shouldn't be here in the first place."

Kagome sighed. "Sango, we've talked about this over and over again. You know I could never just sit at home waiting for my man to come back. And you don't need to come checking up on me either."

She always saw straight through her. "I'm just worried, Kagome. You shouldn't be straining yourself."

"I'm not. I'm preventing myself from going stir crazy," she asserted.

" _Kagome…_ "

"That's enough, Sango," she held up a hand, "I told you, I'm fine. Have you seen me anything but?"

"That's what worries me," her friend said, frustrated, "Kagome, you're acting way too normal! Your husband is off doing some dangerous military mission, leaving you _alone_ , and you act as if nothing has changed."

"This is not the first time he's been called to the military, Sango."

"It's never been for this long. And never when you were pregnant. "

"He didn't know when he left," Kagome interrupted, defensive.

Sango sighed. "I know. I'm not accusing him or anything," she assured her friend, "But circumstances are different. You need to adjust accordingly, and you need to tell him."

"He knows. I just sent the letter." She laid a hand on her stomach.

Sango gazed at her coolly. "You know that's not what I was talking about."

Kagome sighed, turning to look out through one of the large windows. "He needs to be focused, not worrying about me."

"Then at least take care of yourself. If not for your sake, then for your child's."

"For the last time, I am. Stop worrying," Kagome growled, loosening the silver tie around her neck.

Sango opened her mouth to retort, but stopped, attention drawn to her friend's actions.

"That tie…" she trailed, knowing the story.

Kagome dropped her hand. "This is his company," she murmured, "It would feel wrong if I led it without a piece of him."

Sango looked around the CEO office, taking in the dark wood, simple decoration, and most importantly, the carefully maintained pictures lined up on the large desk. This room was definitely all Sesshomaru.

"So that's why you're here…" Sango realized, eyes widening as they turned to gaze at her stomach.

Kagome rubbed her slightly swollen belly. "This baby will know its father," she said fiercely, "No matter how far away he is."

* * *

Far away. He was too far away, dammit.

He pumped his legs as hard as he could, pounding the wet moist earth down with his leaps. He ignored tired and course shouts of his soldiers. He ignored the screams of terrified villagers as they ducked for cover. He ignored the disgusting sounds of bullets piercing through soft flesh.

He only heard one sound – an infant crying.

It had been about six months since he found out about his wife's pregnancy. Since then, his thoughts had been consumed with protecting that infant's future. He had decided that his child would have a father - there would be no 'or die trying'. In the safety of the encampment, that resolve was rock solid.

As soon as he'd stepped on the combat field with his men, however, that resolve would fly out the window.

Risking his life for helpless villagers. Risking his life for his soldiers. Risking his life for his country. For the last half year, he had risked his life every day.

And then when he'd return to his tent, he'd remember that foolish resolve, and would drown in guilt. He'd reread each letter from his wife, lingering on the passages where she'd describe her pregnancy, her OB/GYN appointments, the baby's growth. He'd read them over and over, until he practically had each word memorized. Then he'd whisper an apology to the picture of Kagome he kept close to his bed, and fall into an anxious sleep.

It was simultaneously wondrous and torturous reading about his child. He relished every new piece of information Kagome offered, but agonized at his distance, at the peril he'd face that day and would face again the next. He knew Kagome had easily discerned this from his letters. She informed him that she and Sango were keeping a highly detailed scrapbook, documenting practically every day of the experience. She refused to even consider any names until he was home. She sent him ultrasound pictures when she could. And once, she managed to send him a frame of his child's EKG, letting him hold his baby's heartbeat in his hands.

So each morning, he'd reaffirm his resolve to do his utmost to keep that child's father alive. But it seemed every day, someone around him faced a danger he could never ignore.

Today, the wailing of an infant had him dashing for the hut it was coming from, heart pounding as he raced through grenade explosions and machine gun fire. His normally unreadable face had pure terror written all over it. The cold, calculating Sesshomaru Taisho had thrown away all facades as, in his mind's eye, he saw a gurgling cherubic face with silver hair and clear blue eyes…

Practically bursting through the destroyed doorway, he searched frantically for the infant, his hearing still focused on its crying. Shoving aside debris in the small hut, he made his way closer and closer to the gut wrenching sounds, until finally, he could make out the miserable baby.

He pulled the naked, sobbing child gently into his arms and dashed out of the hut, running towards the villagers who were currently being evacuated by some of his men. One of them caught his eye, and then took note of the small bundle in his arms. Nodding to his commander, he began calling out to the villagers in their native language, choppily stringing together _'parents'_ _'lost'_ and _'child'_.

Sesshomaru, in the mean time, was absolutely focused on getting the babe to the evacuation site without a scratch on her. He hunched over the small form as he ran, thinking of absolutely nothing but safety…

Something burned across his back, ripping his uniform, and Sesshomaru bit his lips against the pain. He ignored the tingle the wound sent down one of his arms, and did the only thing he could do. Run.

* * *

"Run, Sango," Kagome growled, fists clenched.

Sango backed away, hands held up in a placating manner. "Now, now Kagome. I was just doing what I thought was right."

"It's none of your business!" the expectant mother shouted.

"But it _is_ his," her friend stated.

"Sango! You had no right!" Kagome cried out, panting afterward.

Sango immediately rushed over, rubbing her shoulder. "Kagome, you need to calm down. Don't get worked up."

She brushed her friend off angrily, taking a step back. "Don't even try, Sango. If I'm angry, I'll act angry dammit!"

 _She forced another smile at her coworker, asking how his weekend had been. The man responded pleasantly, and asked her the same. She told him it had been fine. A passing figure paused as she said this, but then moved on before Kagome even realized he had been there._

 _At her meetings, she greeted each member of the board with her usual exuberance, drawing smiles out of the stiff trustees at her bright personality. One distinguished chair, however, narrowed his eyes, arms crossed, and watched unwaveringly._

 _When she found a woman crying in the lounge, she approached immediately and consoled her as best she could. Gold eyes observed unnoticed, though they seemed to be the only things that_ had _noticed_ her _desperate battle against her own tears._

 _Finally, after she piped a cheerful good-bye to her last parking neighbor in the garage, she leaned tiredly against the side of her car, closing her eyes in resignation._

" _Higurashi."_

 _She snapped her eyes open to find her boss looming over her._

 _Forcing the corners of her mouth up once more, she asked, "Hello Taisho-san. Can I help you with something?"_

 _He snorted. "I thought your features were natural, Higurashi."_

 _Her lip twitched, but she refused to let him get the better of her. She should not have let him get under her skin that day, so she was resolved to keep her cool this time. "I can assure you they are, Taisho-san."_

" _Hn." He lifted a finger and grazed the corner of her tight smile. "Then what is this?"_

 _She stared at him in genuine confusion. "I've never gotten Botox, if that's what you're asking."_

 _He raised a brow, then shook his head slightly. "That smile is fake, Higurashi. I have no need for it, nor do I find it pleasant to look at."_

 _Her face fell, and her eyes widened. "Wh-what do you—"_

" _Smiling is for the happy. You are not happy."_

 _She bit her lip and looked down. "You don't know what you're talking about."_

" _I run an honest company, Higurashi Kagome. Contrary to popular belief, I do tolerate emotion, as long as the emotion is true." He tilted her chin up with a finger. "When you feel happy, smile. When you feel angry, yell."_

 _She gazed at him with wide, doe-like eyes that slowly gathered water. Her lower lip began to tremble as she desperately tried to cling to her control._

 _He placed his other hand on her shoulder. "When you feel sad, cry."_

 _With that, she promptly burst into tears and lunged forward, burying her face into his warm chest and sobbing like a small child. Sesshomaru rested a hand gently across her the back of her shoulders and waited as she gasped and hiccupped her sadness out._

 _Finally she managed to calm down somewhat, her hysterics reduced to small sniffles. She didn't loosen her grip on his coat, though, and continued to rest her head on his chest, relishing the strong, steady heartbeat underneath. His scent was comforting, woodsy and masculine, and unmarred by cologne. Kagome breathed deeply, allowing her body to slowly relax._

 _After a moment or two of silence, she whispered, "Sorry about your shirt."_

 _He shrugged slightly. "Do not concern yourself with it. It's only a matter of throwing it away as soon as I return home."_

 _She giggled half-heartedly, then sighed. "I caught my boyfriend cheating on me last weekend."_

 _He remained silent._

" _That didn't really matter though – we weren't that serious. But of course I was pissed so I confronted him about it." Her hands clenched around his coat. "He told me that I wasn't good enough. That I should have spread my legs sooner because that's the only real reason any guy would stay. Bastard," she growled._

 _She paused, then continued, "But this is the third relationship in a row that failed like this. I was starting to think…maybe he's right. Maybe I really am not good enough. I'm plain, weak, not very smart—"_

 _Sesshomaru interrupted with a snort. He pulled back, and she reluctantly let him. Gazing right into her unusual eyes, he told her "You are the CMO of Taisho Corp, the youngest and only female to ever hold that position. You yelled at and insulted your boss on your first day of work. You are the furthest thing from unintelligent and weak I've ever met." Gently, he touched the corner of her eyes. "And all a man has to do is look at these eyes to know that you are in no way plain."_

 _Her eyes watered again. "Thank you."_

" _That was not flattery, Kagome," he warned, "I only spoke the truth, and pointed out the facts. In return, you will show me the same honesty."_

 _Kagome snorted. "Is that an invitation to insult you all I want?"_

 _He smirked. "If you wish, but know I would retaliate without mercy."_

 _She grinned. "Bring it, Taisho."_

 _And from then on, long before they even began their romantic relationship, Kagome would never put on airs around Sesshomaru. She kept some secrets, sure, but she never again attempted to fool Sesshomaru with a fake emotion. When she was happy, she smiled. When she was sad, she cried._

When she was angry, she shouted. "I can't believe you went behind my back like this, Sango!"

Sango gazed at her firmly. "He deserves to know. It's his wife and child."

Kagome could feel the tears growing in her eyes. "He's already worried enough about not being here during the pregnancy. Now he's going to be desperate to get here for the birth!"

"He should be! You need him, Kagome!"

"I need him _alive_ ," Kagome finally wailed, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Do you know what it's like? Worrying day after day about your husband? Wondering night after night if your baby still has a father? Being afraid to open every letter because of what it might say? He can't die, Sango! He can't! And when he's calm, when he's focused, _no one_ can beat him. _No one_. But now he's going to be frantic and I need him _alive!_ I need my child's father come home _alive_!"

Sango stared at her friend in shock. All this time, Kagome had acted like nothing was wrong, insisting that she was fine, that it wasn't the first time Sesshomaru had been called back to the service. However, the last time had been when they were only dating, not married. So Sango had constantly watched her friend, worrying she was going to fall apart eventually, for she knew she was more affected by everything than she let on. It looked like that break down was happening now.

"Kagome…" she reached for her friend, wanting to comfort her.

However, at that moment, Kagome cried out in agony, gripping her chest and falling to her knees.

"Kagome? Kagome!" Sango rushed over, kneeling in front of the eight month pregnant woman. Her hands fluttered uselessly, unsure of what to do.

"M-my, my baby," Kagome gasped out, her other hand cradling her stomach. "My baby…Sango, help my baby!"

Sango looked down and her face whitened in horror. On the floor, between Kagome's legs, a pool of blood slowly grew.

* * *

He snapped his eyes open, strangely horrified at the dreams he had been having. They had been full of red, and crying. A baby crying.

"Sesshomaru? Yo, Sesshomaru, you up?" a gruff voice was saying next to him. Slowly – he felt stiff and oddly numb – Sesshomaru turned his head on the pillow to look at his half brother.

Swallowing dryly, he croaked, "Where am I?"

"In the medical ward…at home base," Inuyasha told him, a grin growing on his face, "We're in Tokyo, dude. Home."

Sesshomaru widened his eyes before turning his neck to look at the ceiling once more, taking a deep breath. Listening hard, he could hear the industrial sound of cars, subways, and business. Closing his eyes, he relaxed against the pillow again. "How long?"

"You were transferred here yesterday, and have been asleep the whole time. You worried us, bastard." His brother sounded almost…sincere. Perhaps Sesshomaru was still dreaming.

"What happened?"

"When you saved the kid – the baby's fine, by the way – you were grazed by a bullet. You blacked out. Good thing, too, because when you dropped to the ground a grenade whizzed right over your head, for your information."

The Master Sergeant frowned. "I blacked out from a graze?" He turned and narrowed his eyes at Inuyasha, who shifted in his seat.

"Inuyasha," he said in a voice he hadn't used on him since they were teens and thus mortal enemies.

"The bullet grazed your spine, Sesshomaru," he reluctantly admitted. "It wiggled the bone or something like that. The doctor can give you the more technical junk."

Sesshomaru swore lowly. Third time in the service and his luck had finally run out. "Any lasting damage?"

Inuyasha shifted again. "Um, we don't know. But doc said there's a good chance."

Sesshomaru clenched his fists

…And then realized with horror he couldn't curl his left hand.

At that moment, one of the army doctors stepped in.

"Master Sergeant Taisho. Glad to see you're back."

"Myoga. You will tell me why I can't feel my left hand."

His father's old friend frowned and approached his left side. Pushing aside the covers, he pinched Sesshomaru's pinky. "Can you feel that?"

"No."

Inuyasha frowned. "What's wrong with him doc?"

Myoga ignored the brash sergeant. "Can you raise your arm?"

He did, but jerkily, arm almost falling a few times. The doctor's sighed with relief. "I was expecting this. But luckily, the damage is not as bad as I thought."

Sesshomaru growled. "You will tell me what is wrong, _now_."

"Calm down, Sesshomaru," Myoga placated, "When the bullet grazed your spine, it disturbed your T1 vertebra, located right under the base of your neck. I was worried that the jostling damaged your brachial plexus – basically the nerves that run through your arm. However, it looks like you just damaged its lower roots."

"Great. That's peachy. But what does it _mean_?" Inuyasha growled, frustrated at the geek jargon.

"Basically, since only the T1 vertebra was disturbed, you slightly damaged the roots to your posterior cord. So you'll be able move and bend your arm, but it will be jerky and there will be brief moments when you won't have control of it."

Sesshomaru frowned. He did not like not having control.

"Unfortunately, it looks like you injured the medial root of your left arm in such a way that you've lost all electrochemical connection to your ulnar nerve. Consequentially, you won't be able to feel anything on the medial side of your lower arm, from finger tips to elbow." He indicated to the half of his forearm closest to Sesshomaru's torso. "You won't be able to move your ring finger or pinky at all either. I'll have to run some tests to make absolutely sure, of course, but I'm fairly certain of my evaluation."

His frown deepened. "And the damage is permanent."

The doctor sighed. "Unfortunately. Nerve cells don't re-grow."

He clenched his right hand and closed his eyes. Damaged. He was damaged now. Imperfect. Thinking of blue eyes and angel-like laughter, Sesshomaru very nearly despaired. How was he supposed to face Kagome now? How could he expect her to stay by his side, when he was flawed like this? She deserved perfection, and now, she no longer had it.

Inuyasha regarded his brother with sympathy, for once keeping his mouth shut. He didn't really know what to say. What could you say to that? Hey, at least it's not your right arm? Inuyasha wasn't _that_ dense.

He went with his best option. "Oh yeah, Sesshomaru, this came the day you were…I mean the day you blacked out." He pulled out a letter and offered it to him.

Sesshomaru didn't reach out to take it, though. Instead he just gazed at it, face unreadable. Quietly, he said, "Does Kagome know?"

Myoga, having met his godson's wife before, shook his head. "I knew your life wasn't in danger. I didn't feel the need to worry her, especially with the baby."

The mention of his child pushed Sesshomaru to take the letter. Unfolding it slowly with his right hand, he frowned as he realized it was not Kagome's handwriting. Actually, it was from his Chief Operations Officer's wife, Sango, if he remembered correctly. The letter was short, starting off with a traditional inquiry about his health and a small update on Kagome.

However, when the CEO of Taisho Corp reached the meat of the letter, his face darkened and he clenched the paper so hard it ripped under his nails.

"Uh, what did Kagome say?" Inuyasha asked, surprised at his brother's sudden anger.

"It was not from Kagome."

"What? Then who-"

They were interrupted by a soldier bursting through the door.

"This is a _private_ room, corporal," Inuyasha scolded, but his scowl turned into a more serious frown as he noticed the young man's panting. "What is it?"

"Urgent message for the Master Sergeant," the boy gasped, quickly crossing the room and handing a scrap of paper to the room's patient.

Sesshomaru read the scribbled message quickly and snapped, "Inuyasha, get me to the hospital."

He snorted. "Uh, did the bullet mess with your brain too? You're already _in_ one, stupid."

In a surprisingly quick movement for someone who had partial nerve damage, Sesshomaru whipped his arm out and gripped Inuyasha's collar. "Get me to the hospital _now_ , Inuyasha. My anemic pregnant wife is in _labor_."

* * *

Pain. Pain, pain and more pain. And fear. Yeah there was a lot of that.

Kagome bit back another scream, gripping the bed rails so hard her knuckles turned white. Not that she cared. She couldn't feel anything but the agonizing pain in her abdomen and the overwhelming fear that she was losing her baby. Sesshomaru's baby. The baby that she carried, lovingly for eight months. The baby that had been her only constant companion and comfort while her husband was gone.

Finally, after what felt like five hundred years, the pain subsided enough so that she was coherent. Gasping, she sank back against the pillows, eyes closed.

The door creaked open. It was Sango.

"I just finished making calls," she said, "Your mom and everyone are on their way."

Kagome nodded weakly. She bit her lip before hesitantly choking out, "Did you…did you call…"

"I did. But I couldn't reach him."

She felt her heart sink in disappointment. She knew, even though some part of her had fantasized, that he wouldn't have been able to be with her for the birth. But she had been hoping that he'd at least know when it was happening so that _she'd_ know his thoughts were with her.

A warm hand gently touched the back of her hand, and Kagome looked up in surprise as Sango broke into a wide smile.

"I couldn't reach him, but I was assured he received the message."

Her shoulders lifted a little. That was enough.

"Aren't you curious how I got a hold of him?"

"Huh?" she breathed, before comprehending. There had been a reason she and Sesshomaru had only been exchanging letters for communication. No cell reception or phone lines down there.

"He'd just returned to headquarters," her friend grinned, "He's in Tokyo, Kagome. And he's on his way."

* * *

Sesshomaru had stumbled a bit when he got out of the car, but the more he walked the more his legs went back to normal. By the time he walked through the hospital doors, Inuyasha not far behind him, he was striding as confidently as he would to any business meeting. Except this time he was in much more of a hurry.

"Kagome Taisho," he growled to lobby nurse, "Where is she?"

The nurse looked up in surprise. "I'm sorry, sir?"

" _Kagome Taisho_. My _wife_. Who's in _labor_. Where is she?"

"Ah, let me just look it up…"

"Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha called from in front of a floor directory, "Maternity ward, fourth floor!"

Without another word, Sesshomaru turned away from the nurse, bypassed the elevator, and took the stairs three at a time. Bursting through the right door, he flagged down the nearest doctor.

"Kagome Taisho. Where is she?"

The woman looked at him sharply. "You're…?"

"Her husband. Now tell me where my wife is!"

The doctor nodded. "You're Sesshomaru-san. Follow me. I'm your wife's OB/GYN, and there's some things you should know."

Sesshomaru nodded. As they wound around hallways, she began to explain, "You wife has always had mild anemia. But it was nothing to worry about since Kagome-san ate healthily and exercised regularly. But pregnancy, of course, always has a tendency to make things complicated. The physical stress of the pregnancy and I believe some additional emotional stress from running a company and, well, worrying about you made the condition much worse."

"Was she experiencing any symptoms?" Sesshomaru asked quickly, frustrated that he was so out of the loop. She should have _told_ him. Better yet, he should have _been_ here, not out there getting his arm half paralyzed.

"Heart palpitations, chest pain, and some extreme dizziness and nausea. Your wife has been very cautious, though, and the baby has been fine. Things are much better than they could have been."

"What about now? What will the complications be now that she's in labor? And the baby's not due yet, why is it early?"

"Your wife's friend informed me that Kagome-san might have been very distraught before her water broke. That caused the premature labor. However, the baby's lungs are basically fully developed, so there shouldn't be any complications in that area. We _are_ worried about your wife, though. With anemia, the main concern is internal bleeding, which can lead to other complications like infection. Unfortunately, some of her muscles have already partially teared since her first contraction took her by surprise and she tensed up too much. It led to some blood, but thankfully it doesn't seem to be too bad."

Sesshomaru nodded as they finally stopped in front of a room labeled with the name "Taisho." He reached for the door handle, but was stopped by the doctor. "Sesshomaru-san, I'm going to have to ask you to try and keep your wife as calm as possible. We can't have her tensing up again. The epidural should help but she'll still be in a lot of pain."

"Understood." Unwilling to wait any longer, he opened the door to see his wife's face for the first time in almost seven months.

Sango was by her bedside, but she quickly excused herself as soon as she saw the returned husband. Kagome had her face turned, but she slowly twisted to see who it was. His silver hair gave him away before her eyes even found his face.

"S-Sesshomaru," she choked.

Crossing the room in two long strides, he swiftly but gently buried his face into the nape of her neck, while his right hand immediately found her swollen belly. He felt her immediately relax underneath him with a sigh, hand coming up to stroke his hair. He took deep breaths. Even matted with sweat, there was an aroma about her that was distinctly Kagome. He relished it and savored her entire presence, lips brushing the skin side to side. His hand rubbed around and around her stomach, as if it was mapping every inch of it. He had been absent for most of his child's life already after all. That was going to change.

Finally pulling his head back, he drank in the sight of her. Inky hair was slick with sweat, but her face was beautifully flushed and glowing. Her eyes were still that vibrant blue he dreamed of every night, and they were shining just for him. She had never looked so tired, thin, or sweaty, and yet to him she looked more beautiful than ever before.

"Kagome," he breathed, watching as tears gathered in her eyes.

She stroked his cheek, fingers brushing the corners of his amber eyes. "You're here."

"I'm here," he nodded, pressing his lips to her forehead.

She covered the hand on her belly with her own. "This is our baby."

"This is our baby," he repeated.

Her tears overflowed. "We missed you."

"I missed you."

"I love you."

"I l—" Suddenly, Kagome's hand shot out to grasp his left hand, resting on the bed, while her other hand reached for the bed railing. The beeping of the monitor became faster as Kagome bit back a scream of pain.

Sesshomaru straightened in surprise and worry. Frantically, he tried to stroke her hair comfortingly as the pain eventually subsided. The fast beeping of the monitor was disorienating and very concerning. "What's wrong?" he demanded to the room.

The doctor, who had stayed outside for the touching reunion, strode in. "It's a contraction. Kagome-san, I need to check how much you're dilated." Gently she pried her legs apart. "Almost ten centimeters. And your contractions are only a minute or so apart. Kagome-san, pretty soon you'll have to push."

"I-I don't know if I can."

"You must, Kagome-san. For your baby."

She whimpered and nodded. The doctor turned her focus on Sesshomaru. "Remember what I told you, Sesshomaru-san? Keep her as calm as possible."

Sesshomaru nodded as he continued to stroke Kagome's hair. She leaned into his touch gratefully. "We're about to have a baby, Sesshomaru."

"I believe I am just realizing that."

She smiled weakly. "Was that sarcasm I just heard, Taisho?"

"Ridiculous. Perhaps you are having delusions."

"Whatever you say boss. By the way, I rejected Sato, Inc. and kicked Satomura out the door. Maybe you should have made Miroku acting CEO."

"Your actions were acceptable. Satomura is incompetent. And Miroku did not want to be CEO, even temporarily."

Kagome sighed, "I always knew he was smarter than he let on. I'm never doing your job again."

"Agreed. _I_ will be doing my job."

She laughed, but at that moment another contraction hit her and she curled her muscles in pain. Sesshomaru frowned as he watched her bite back another scream.

"Thirty seconds since your last contraction. And you're fully dilated now," the doctor stated, "Kagome-san, next contraction, start pushing. Your baby is ready for the world."

"No it's not," Kagome said tearfully, beginning to panic, "It can't be yet. My baby."

The doctor gave Sesshomaru a pointed look, and he murmured reassuringly, "Our baby is ready for both of its parents now, Kagome. And we'll protect it from the world."

She pressed her lips together, but nodded. A few seconds later, the monitors started beeping frantically again and Kagome's grip tightened so much around Sesshomaru's hand that a small part of him mildly thought if his left hand wasn't half paralyzed before, it certainly would be now.

"Kagome-san, _push!_ "

She grunted and held her breath, curling in ward as she pushed. The beeping became even faster and the doctor scolded, "Sesshomaru-san, her muscles are too tense! If she doesn't relax, they'll tear!"

Sesshomaru looked at the obstetrician in bewilderment. Kagome was pushing a baby out of a ten centimeter hole and she expected her to _relax_? But he had to get her to calm down somehow. He agreed that her heart was beating much too fast, even for labor.

Her lip was bleeding now from the pressure she was putting on it. He frowned, and gently began tugging it out from between her teeth. "Kagome, you've forgotten how you are to behave around me."

The contraction had subsided briefly, and the doctor took the time to shift her focus. "What are you saying Sesshomaru-san? You need to be calming her! Not stressing her more!"

He ignored her. From the passing seconds, he could tell another contraction was coming. "When you feel happy, smile. When you feel angry, yell. When you feel sad, cry."

The contraction hit.

"When you feel pain, _scream_."

Kagome's grip tightened with almost inhuman strength as she released her lip and _wailed_ in her agony, so loudly that his ears rang. However, when it died out in her throat, the beeping slowed down some.

"Good," the doctor encouraged, "Now _push."_

Somehow, both Kagome and his ears made it through the ordeal. There had been no internal tearing, no infection, and the amount of blood had been minimal. Already, the doctor had Kagome hooked to an IV to replenish her nutrients. It was all worth it, though, for sometime later, Kagome had a small pink bundle in her arms.

"Our daughter," she whispered, tired beyond belief but ridiculously euphoric.

Sesshomaru could hardly believe it himself. He almost didn't want to touch her, for fear she would break under his touch.

"What should we name her?"

"Mizuki," Sesshomaru declared.

Kagome pondered it, then nodded, smiling. "Mizuki." She gazed up at him. "Would you like to hold her?"

Instinctually, Sesshomaru started to reach out, but then the jerky movements of his left arm made him stop and step back.

Kagome frowned. "Sesshomaru?"

Sesshomaru clenched his fists, that is, he tried to.

"What's wrong?" Kagome asked, not liking the emotion on his face. She couldn't tell exactly what it was, but it definitely wasn't good.

At that moment, Inuyasha barged in. "Yo! We're here to see the little tyke!"

And with that, Sesshomaru ran.

Inuyasha watched in surprised as his brother shoved past him and out the door. "What the…? Yo, Kagome, you didn't pull a fast one on him did ya? Is the baby a redhead or something?"

Kagome growled and narrowed her eyes at her brother-in-law.

"Hey hey, I was kidding."

She ignored him. Using a voice that had even made Sesshomaru fearful occasionally, she demanded, "Inuyasha, why are you two home early and what the _hell_ happened to my husband over there?"

* * *

Kagome watched Sesshomaru from the doorway of the nursery. He was there again, doing nothing but gazing at their daughter in her crib. It had become a nightly routine for him. She repressed a sigh.

It had been about a week since they came home from the hospital, and he still hadn't opened up to her about his arm. He knew she knew, but he wouldn't talk about it. In fact, he practically avoided her.

He spent a lot of time with the baby, but mostly like this, just watching her in her crib. He didn't even attempt to help with things like burping and changing diapers. While most women would have been furious about this, Kagome understood. He was afraid he'd lose control over his arm and hurt Mizuki. Sometimes, without thinking, he'd start to offer his help, before stopping and cursing himself, then fleeing the room.

She'd tried to give him some space, but enough was enough. Normally, though he'd stay up late with catching up in work as an excuse, he'd still come to bed and pull her close. Last night, he didn't come to bed at all, and Kagome had found him in his office at 4 am, staring at the display where he kept his first rifle. She knew he was thinking too much. Thinking that if he'd only not taken the risk, if only he'd paid a little more attention…She sighed again. War was violent and traumatizing, but peace…peace gave too much time for reflection. For regrets. Peace was a devil too.

Softly, she knocked on the frame. Sesshomaru turned to look at her with resigned, tired eyes. Smiling, she joined him by the crib. "Look how cute she is. The boys will be falling all over her when she's older."

Sesshomaru growled. Of course Mizuki was a beauty. With inky black hair like her mother and golden eyes like his, she was a sight to behold. However, "No man will touch her."

Kagome rolled her eyes. "She hasn't even said her first word yet and already she has to deal with an overprotective father."

"Hn."

Kagome smiled, and reached out to cover his left hand. He pulled it away.

Her face fell, and she sighed. "You can't keep doing this, Sesshomaru."

He didn't respond; only turned and walked away.

She followed him to his office, he was staring at the rifle once more.

"Sesshomaru."

"I do not wish to speak about it, Kagome."

"I am your _wife_. You will speak to me about it whether you like it or not," she growled, finally starting to get annoyed.

"Kagome."

" _Sesshomaru_."

They glared at each other for a long moment, before her face finally softened. She approached him and reached for his left hand. He stepped back, but she wasn't deterred. Snatching his hand, she held it up to her cheek. "Do you think I'll love you any less just because of this?" she whispered, gazing at him with sorrowful eyes, "Do you not believe in me?"

"It isn't that."

"Then _what_ , Sesshomaru? Why are you being so stubborn? You can still use this arm, almost normally. You can go to physical therapy, work through it, get acclimated. But you _won't_. Why?" she stroked his hand, "You got off lucky, but you won't open up to me."

He snatched his hand away. "Lucky? _Lucky_?" he finally snapped, "It may seem lucky to you, but not to _me_ , Kagome. Look at me!" he held up his hand, thumb, index, and middle finger straight, ring finger and pinkie curled to make some kind of deformed claw. "I'm partially paralyzed. I'm _flawed_. I came home to you _flawed._ I am more a burden than a help to you with Mizuki. I don't even dare to _hold_ her, because I might lose control of my arm and drop her. I…I can't even feel your touch!" He turned away, looking out the window. "You deserve perfection. You and Mizuki deserve someone who can protect you. And look at me, I'm a master sergeant who couldn't even carry out his service to the end. I am flawed, and I am failing you."

Kagome remained silent through his tirade, listening quietly but not breaking eye contact until he turned away. When he was done, she didn't say anything; only walked around the desk to the displayed rifle, opened the case, and promptly threw the thing out the open window.

Sesshomaru's eyes widened as they listened to the gun fall two stories and into the bushes below.

"I didn't marry a master sergeant," Kagome told him, forcing his attention on her, "I married my arrogant, haughty, overly literal boss. Where is that man, Sesshomaru? Where is the man who preached honesty to me, who scolded fakeness, who told me to always show my true emotion?"

He looked away again.

Tolerating none of that, she stepped right up against him, placing a hand on his chest. "I know you didn't leave him behind during your service. Because I saw him a week ago, by my hospital bed, telling me once again to smile when I'm happy, yell when I'm angry, and cry when I'm sad. That man got me through giving birth, and I gave him a daughter. Frankly, I want that man back."

He closed his eyes. "Grow up, Sesshomaru," she told him bluntly, making his eyes snap back open. He looked down at her, observing her fierce eyes, glinting exactly as they did so long ago, on the first day he met her. "You're right, I deserve perfection. And that man, the man I married, was perfect to me. _For_ me. So come back to me, Sesshomaru Taisho."

With that, she leaned up on her tip toes and pressed her lips against his, for their first kiss in almost a year.

At first, Sesshomaru remained unmoving and unresponsive. However, in just a few moments, he began to kiss back fiercely, unable to resist the warm persuasion of her soft lips. He threaded his right hand through her hair and wrapped his left arm securely around her waist. She smiled against his lips, and he took the opportunity for force his tongue into her moist cavern, slowly but powerfully exploring her mouth. She twined her arms around his neck and threw herself into his embrace, wrapping her legs around his waist. He stumbled slightly, and without breaking the kiss, sat down in his office chair so that she straddled him. Their lips moved against each other fluidly, tongues dancing, hands eventually roaming, until they were both gasping for breath. When they parted, she rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes.

"You're not getting out of baby duty anymore," she informed him, "If you can hold me up, you can definitely hold Mizuki for a few minutes. She's like a hundredth of my weight."

He chuckled. "I believe you just called yourself – "

"Unless you want to sleep on the couch, you will not finish that sentence Sesshomaru Taisho."

He smirked. "Very well. What I have in mind does not need a bed. There are many other suitable settings."

She slapped his shoulder gently, and he flinched.

Realizing which arm she struck, she quickly pulled back. "Sorry. Did I hurt you?"

He shook his head. "I…I felt it."

"Well yeah. Inuyasha told me you're only numb in half your hand and forearm."

He didn't respond for a moment, then nodded. "I suppose I really am an unfeeling bastard now," he tried to joke.

She frowned. "You know I've always said that wasn't true."

"Not always," he reminded her.

"Nuance," she glared for a moment, before taking his left hand again in his. "Actually, I think this proves that you feel things, Sesshomaru, and that you have much you don't want to lose." She pressed her lips against the palm, and he played with her hair.

"Perhaps, that is true."

She grinned. "Course it is."

He gave her a pointed look, before softening. "I love you, Kagome."

Her eyes became glassy. "I love you too, Sesshomaru. Thank you for coming back."

"Always. And I won't leave again."

"Does that mean we can leave that rifle outside to rot?"

He chuckled, and tilted her head for another kiss. She responded eagerly, and their hands began roaming once more.

Unfortunately, at least to Sesshomaru, they were interrupted by high pitched wails.

Groaning, they broke apart. "You know what I just remembered?" Kagome whispered, "We actually can't have sex yet. At least not in the next five weeks."

Abruptly, Sesshomaru stood up, depositing her onto the couch. She looked up, slightly worried. "Sesshomaru? Where are you going?"

"To Mizuki. You said yourself that I will not be escaping 'baby duty' any longer. And I need a distraction. For the next five weeks."


End file.
